Masking at University
Masking is where you strive to suppress any actions that may mark you as different from your peers or where you ‘put on the mask of normalcy’ to avoid standing out. Every person who is diagnosed as neurodivergent, whether you are autistic, ADHD, or some other form of neurodiversity, has probably masked at some point in their lives. Many do it daily or in every single social interaction.
In some circumstances, masking is involuntary – either because it is not safe to be yourself or you do it subconsciously. You may mask your natural reactions, speech patterns, and actions that draw attention to the different ways your brain functions.
However, whether it is a conscious choice or an involuntary reaction to the situation you find yourself in, masking will have consequences for your health.
Masking is Exhausting
One of the significant issues with masking your natural reactions in public or social situations is that you become far more mentally exhausted. Exhaustion impacts your ability to learn effectively and how you socialise. Masking can take time to recover from the effects.
When you mask, your brain must work incredibly hard. You constantly observe what everyone else is doing, focus on doing what others are doing, and actively suppress what your body naturally wants to do. Neurotypical people don’t have to work this hard in a social situation. They are not focusing every thought on fitting in. They can concentrate on what is happening, whether actively listening to the lecturer or relaxing with friends in a social situation.
Masking Can Lead to Burnout
Masking your thoughts and actions can lead to burnout. Many people with ADHD or autism may not complete assignments or could fail at university, especially if they are masking. You have the intelligence to complete your course, but the added effort of masking makes everything so much harder. If you continually mask, especially if you cannot be yourself in any situation, you will put much pressure on yourself, leading to burnout. If you do not want to let your lecturers and tutors know about your diagnosis, they cannot help you. Lecturers can provide alternative deadlines or assignments for you to complete if they know your issues.
Select When to Mask
Masking can be subconscious, and you may not be aware that you do it. Many people in the neurodiverse community spend their high school years desperately trying to appear normal and to fit in with their peers. There is tremendous peer group pressure in the teenage years to fit in. When you get to university, masking may be so natural that you now do it in every situation.
However, most university students feel free to explore who they are, and the peer group pressure to conform lessens. Many university students say that it was very different once they stopped masking at university and started being themselves. Permit yourself to unmask sometimes. Start to choose when (and if) you want to mask in that situation. You may find university life much easier if you can unmask at times.
Do note that it may not be safe to unmask in some circumstances. Some people, especially those in minority groups, such as black women, may be at higher risk if they do not appear to fit in with the majority.
Prepare for Times You Will Mask
If you decide you will mask in certain situations, help your brain prepare for this time. You may need a half hour of quiet, unstimulated time before a busy social time before a chatty tutorial. You may need to go to the gym or for an active run just before a lecture so that you can sit still during the class.
Learn to know what you need before masking, giving yourself the best opportunity to be in a calm and relaxed state when you need to mask. Know that masking means you have to expend additional energy for that time and do anything you need to do to make it easier for yourself. You may like to record the lecture, so you can listen to it again in private and take in the information you may miss while your brain is focusing on masking. You may need to ask the tutor or lecturer for permission to record the session for your learning.
Give Yourself Recovery Time from Masking
Understand it takes lots of energy and effort to mask, so you will probably feel exhausted afterwards. After masking, give yourself plenty of time to recover. You may need to reduce your social activities or choose when you socialise to provide yourself with the time and space you need to recover. If you need a rest or quiet time after a lecture and before a social time, avoid going out for coffee with your colleagues straight after a class. You can always arrange to meet them later, even if it’s just ten minutes sitting in a quiet space before you rejoin your friends.
Work out how you best recover from the stresses of masking and give yourself that time to recover. Autistic people may prefer a quiet, even dark space to recover in because that reduces the stimuli on the senses that can be overwhelming. People with ADHD may need to recover by being active, like doing some exercise after a time of sitting still.
Learn to Love Yourself as You Are
One of the facets of masking is that it leads to low self-esteem. Essentially, you continually tell your brain that it is not good and that the way it works is worse than other people’s brain functions. Do not fall for this false thinking. Your brain functions differently for a reason, and you can achieve your full potential when you start to understand this. Masking prevents people from reaching their potential and achieving great things because the brain is so busy maintaining the mask.
There is nothing wrong with being in the neurodiverse community. When you learn to accept yourself as you are and reduce or stop masking, you will find your self-esteem and confidence grow. Learning to unmask includes loving yourself as you are and enjoying the benefits of your neurodiversity.
Practice Unmasking in Safe Situations
It can be a great thing if you are in a safe situation where you can unmask and be yourself without worrying about how other people see you. It can be challenging to unmask if you have always just worked hard to conform, especially throughout high school. Choose a close friend you can trust and explain your diagnosis, including what you naturally feel like doing or saying. Ask if you can have social times with them to be yourself. You might gradually extend your circle of safe friends and be able to go out for a coffee with your group of friends and not need to mask at all.
You can also choose less noticeable stims. Tapping a foot under the table or chair is less noticeable to others than tapping your fingers, especially if the tapping makes a noise on the surface. Take a fidget tool that calms you down and use it discretely. When unmasking, take small steps only as you are comfortable. However, finding ways to be yourself can relieve a lot of pressure and make university life much easier and more pleasant.
Masking is a challenge for most neurodiverse people. Still, you can take steps to make unmasking easier for yourself or to enable masking when it is required. Becoming more aware of when and how you tend to mask and taking steps to reduce the masking if it is safe can help your studies and health.
[RL(1]Hi Hayley, I tend to prefer the use of “neurodivergent” in this type of context rather than “neurodiverse” – the reason why is explained well in this article https://www.harryjackthompson.com/musings/2021/3/8/kp9j3n1xd7p8t2dxc1nxuzvaip8kdr ☺️